Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
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Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
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The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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