Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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