I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
