I could have mohawked her pubes.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
