all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
