So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
