Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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