Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
