Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
