Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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