Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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