What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
can u get pink eye on your cock?
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I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
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That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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