Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
