God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
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just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
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The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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