Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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