she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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