he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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