yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
