And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
