I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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