Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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