I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
