I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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