I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
soo... how was my night?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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