Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
