Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
