it was like eating out sand paper
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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