escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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