so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
