Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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