She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
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You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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