I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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