Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
