i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
