i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
