New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
