I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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