he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
