i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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