My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
