i don't like sucking hair
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
