im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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