We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
