No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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