you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
