but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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