This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Who died my cat blue again?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
