It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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