In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
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