How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
