lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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