Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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