btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
