I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
