I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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