I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
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i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
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I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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