Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
