This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
