he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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