my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
