we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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